I’ve always been the type of person that has to test the waters. I have to push that big red button. I learn things “the hard way” and I’m grateful I do.
For most of my life, I thought that making a mistake translated into “I’m a bad person.” Today, I find I’m in a better place with myself and with my life BECAUSE of my mistakes.
Growing up as a good Christian girl, it was heavily instilled in me to not make mistakes and to try and be perfect. This was the goal in life. This was supposed to lead to true happiness. This hasn’t been the case for me.
I have found that it is BECAUSE of the mistakes that I have been able to receive the richest blessings life has to offer.
I’ve had periods in my life where I’ve coasted through the good life. I married the nice guy, went to church, but I wasn’t really grateful for any of it.
The path that led to my divorce was littered with mistakes. Perhaps, even my divorce in and of itself could be seen as a mistake, but those mistakes have brought greater blessings than what they have taken away.
I have a deeper, more personal relationship with God now than I ever did before. Why? Because I need him now. In my most desperate moments, when everything seemed lost, he was all I had to cling on to.
For a long time, I would even vocalize to family and close friends saying “God and I don’t get along.” I thought he viewed me as a disappointment and I was frustrated with him for handing me some of my challenges that were out of my control.
It wasn’t until I made mistakes and lost what I once had that I had to turn to the God I thought hated me and build my relationship with him from the ground up. For me personally, I didn’t find him in church, I found him THROUGH my mistakes.
I also feel strongly that God is okay with us making mistakes as long as we learn from them and do good with what we have learned.
I trust that I will have a successful and rewarding marriage someday because I know what it takes now. I couldn’t know what it takes without the pitfalls in my first marriage.
When I get time with my kids, it’s usually quality time. I treasure the mornings they wake up in my home or I get to tuck them in at night. The value I hold in spending time with my children is so much greater because I know what it’s like to miss them when they are with their Dad. I hold every holiday with the kids close to my heart and try to enjoy every moment. I never had this mindset before my divorce.
I’ve made mistakes in my career and with money that have led me into financial troubles. As hard and as stressful as the poor times are; as much as I hate being obsessed with what is or is not in my bank account, I love how excited I get about buying a new shirt or going out to dinner. It has made me find gratitude in my humble home that is smaller and simpler than the home I had when I was married. I also think back to the months I spent living in a hotel when we moved for my job. It was in those days that I became so desperate to scrub a toilet or cook a meal because all of that had been taken from me and I had lost purpose outside of the workforce. I’m so grateful for that experience and think about it often when I don’t want to clean my house!
Life is about making mistakes and I don’t think we do an ounce of good by shaming ourselves for them.
I also don’t think we should try to save our kids from every mistake or be disappointed in them when they stumble. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to allow them to fall and then love them through the tough stuff unconditionally.
Mistakes inevitably come with consequences. Often times natural consequences. Sin is its own punishment. The guilt we feel, the relationships we lose, the freedoms and opportunities we miss, but not forgiving ourselves for our mistakes halts us from moving forward and becoming better. My goal in life is to always learn from my mistakes and to let them mold me into a better version of myself in the way that only mistakes can.
I could never taste the sweetest things, savor the little treasures in life without my mistakes, and for that, I will always feel like those who reach the lowest of lows, are the lucky ones.
