This was the first year I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my children. I’ve been divorced for nearly six years now. Prior to my ex-husband’s re-marriage we always amicably spent the holidays together.
Once she came into the picture everything was different. I’ve learned that even if you can co-exist with your ex, sometimes new partners don’t blend so seamlessly and your new normal has to shift once again.
Such it was with Christmas. The kids were scheduled to be with their Dad for the day and my husband’s grown children and grandchildren live 4-hours away. So new traditions were born and we headed to Utah for the holiday to be with my husband’s family.
I anticipated all of the feels to come flooding into my heart when I missed my kids running down the stairs and all of the family traditions we have acquired over the years. Mentally prepping myself beforehand made all the difference and it was a beautiful day filled with love, gratitude, and newness.
It’s All About Your Attitude
Setting up expectations in your mind is key. I knew months before the big day that I wouldn’t have my kids for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, so we planned an alternative day to hold Christmas in our home.
A friend of mine had commented on social media that this too was her situation and that holding Christmas on an alternative day made a big difference in her mental state. After all, as she said “It’s just another day.”
How right she was. On our Christmas re-do day it felt exactly like the beloved holiday. There was gift opening, yummy food, quality time spent together, and the ever present feeling of our beloved Savior. It doesn’t matter when we celebrate, it matters that we celebrate his glorious birth and life.
Christmas Day was equally wonderful as I was able to witness the wonder and innocence of my husband’s grandchildren.
I love tradition and take great comfort in the norm, but it was a beautiful reminder to me that we can do things differently and that the love, joy, and happiness can still look the same.
