I’ve known Ammie for over thirty years. She’s been through a lot. She’s inspired and strengthened me in some of my darkest days and yet she’s just like so many of us in being overly critical and feeling inadequate. Trust me, she is one of the best people I’ve ever met and I am honored to call her my friend. She sent me in part this message after our interview and if you read it you’ll know why I think so highly of her. (p.s. I didn’t even get her permission to share this, but her words were so powerful that I knew they had to be heard. Sorry, Ammie if you don’t forgive me!)
In talking about feeling embarrassed and inadequate about telling her story she said…
I feel like any other mom who just wants the very best for her kids. To me, my story really isn’t that inspiring and I’m not really that amazing. I feel like I am just a normal person. Being a single mom doesn’t make me amazing if anything it shines a light on all my flaws. Having a child with special needs definitely does not make me a superhero, but it sure has given me the opportunity to know one in real life. I’m lucky enough to love two of my own superheroes and tuck them into bed every night.
I find myself getting caught up in comparing myself and my story to another and then the criticism sets in and then, of course, the guilt and the self-doubt quickly follows. Some days I feel like a rock star mom, some days I might be a rock star employee. Most days, however, I feel like I’m just the bare-minimum-kind-of-mom who definitely could be better. Thank goodness for resilient kids who love us anyway and in their small and perfect ways, remind us of what really matters most.
I think about all of the people who have been a part of my journey. Whether they have played a small part or a big part, it is as if they were all precisely placed into my life right when I needed them. Some of them truly angels.
Life has been full of a lot of really good days mixed in with a big dose of some really hard ones. If there is just one person who can relate to this and if this is something that they needed to hear, then I’m glad I got to share my story with you. There have been a lot of bright lights come to me on dark days and if I have learned anything on this journey it’s that the sun always rises and there’s always something to be grateful for. Time has a way of making everything better. We spend so much time worrying about things we cannot control and forget to live in the moment.
Everything always falls into place anyway and the challenges we face today are the things that will buoy us up in the future. It’s amazing to look back and think, “wow, we survived!”
Life is tough and you can do hard things. Don’t doubt for two seconds that you are not enough because you are! I still believe that the best is yet to be, and yes, I just recited all of my favorite quotes! Even though this life isn’t what I thought of when I dreamed of my “happily ever after” I’ve learned it’s far better to just be “happy after all.”
