The power of the spoken word is one of the most powerful tools we possess. Words can inspire or lift someone up on a bad day, they can also destroy relationships, create lasting insecurity, and instill fear.
One of my very favorite books is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first agreement you make with yourself is to be impeccable with your word. The most powerful example he uses to describe words that destroy talks about Hitler’s use of words during WWII and how his words alone led to the murder of millions of people.
I was careless with my words growing up. I told my parents I hated them. I screamed at my husband early on in our marriage that I wanted a divorce. I didn’t truly mean these things, but they stuck with the people I said them to. These relationships have always been a little tainted by words that had been said. How many times have you gotten in an argument with a loved one and they recall that one time you said something that made them feel bad? I’ve been there a lot.
We live in a world full of criticism. We talk behind each other’s backs. There is constant comparison. We create an internal dialog with ourself that says, “I can’t do this.” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough.” Just by the words that we say to ourself and to those around us we create our destiny.
Think about what an incredible world we would live in if we put forth a constant effort to use our words for good. We would raise more confident children, produce harder working, more dedicated employees. We would create lasting, meaningful, relationships all around us.
My therapist once told me that for every critique you give someone, you should give ten compliments in return. You read that right, ten. You know why? That criticism, even if it is warranted, will create far outlasting impressions than the compliments. This is especially true for a person who struggles with insecurity and self-worth.
I challenge you to start thinking more before you speak and see what a difference it makes in your life. Hand out specific compliments, create positive dialog within your brain, bite your tongue when you go to criticize someone. Ask yourself if it’s really worth potentially tearing that person down.
In a time full of violence, depression, drug abuse, bullying, and suicide, it is far time we start using this most powerful tool of words to make the world a better place.
