When I first heard the words “Autism Spectrum Disorder” I was terrified. Never in a million years did I think I would ever see Autism as a blessing. Today I do.
I remember watching Jenny McCarthy on Oprah talking about her son Evan and their struggles with Autism back in 2007. She was describing how her son flapped his hands, didn’t talk, and was lost in his own little world. I remember the thought going through my head “I am so glad we don’t have those issues because that would be tough!” My
One night as I was bathing him I couldn’t get him to point to his belly-button or his nose; pretty soon I noticed he wouldn’t make any of the animal sounds we had been working on either. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and he lost any language he had. I knew in my gut something was wrong. My neighbors, family, and friends would tell me “he’s just being stubborn” or “you’re a paranoid first time Mom” but I knew they were wrong. Every time I “Googled” his symptoms, one word would come up… AUTISM. I didn’t want it to be true, my little boy could not have Autism, but I was afraid he did.
I got him involved in our local Early Intervention program to work on his speech and his therapist referred me to a psychologist. I didn’t understand why they wanted me to take my now almost 2-year-old to a psychologist, (Early Intervention wasn’t allowed to tell me if they suspected he had Autism.) but I reluctantly made an appointment and told my husband he didn’t need to come with me because I was sure it would be no big deal.
After the Dr. did several skill tests and communication tests with my son he looked me in the eyes and said. “Your son has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.” I was stunned to hear the words. I immediately started asking things like “Will he be in a normal classroom?” “Will he be able to get a job someday?” “Will he ever be able to live on his own?” The Dr. told me he didn’t know. Boston was not classically Autistic, he was high-functioning and had a normal IQ but he said they wouldn’t really know the answers to my questions until the years progressed. He sent me home with a bunch of papers, I called my husband and told him the news, and then I went home with my two-year-old, sat on my kitchen floor, and cried. I was so scared for his future.
Those fears were soon replaced with sheer determination to do anything I could possibly do to help my son. We got him in the best therapy we could find, which was extremely expensive and set us back financially in a big way; I read every book I could get my hands on, and I started working with him every day. We ended up doing a combination of ABA Therapy and Floor Time Therapy for 40 hours a week. I spent so much time on the floor working with him that I didn’t own a single pair of pants that didn’t have holes in the knees and it was completely exhausting, but it’s the best thing I have ever done in my life.
Little by little Boston gained his speech back and he started communicating with me. We worked tirelessly for about 4 years and we still have plenty to work on, but today I’m happy to say that he has far outreached where I ever dreamed he would be as a 12-year-old boy.
Boston is in a regular 6th-grade classroom completely unassisted. He does karate, plays baseball, golfs with his Dad, can beat me at chess consistently, and he’s becoming a mean little cook. He is my hero. He works so hard through all of his challenges. He deals with a lot of anxiety, fixations, and big emotions, but he is the most amazing little boy I have ever met. He has the best smile, gives the best hugs, and I have no idea why God entrusted me to be his Mother, but I am so glad he is mine.
So many times when I watch him do things like, ride a bike, play ball, or make a new friend, I have to hold back the tears because I prayed so hard for these things for him for so long.
Autism/Asperger’s has taught me to be grateful for the little things in life and to be grateful for people who think a little differently than most of us do. I’m not scared of Autism anymore, I’m not so scared about Boston’s future. I know he can do anything he sets his mind to.
